Empty Nesters again…

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sunday, the last of our house guests left.  It is weird now… no one to talk to or cook for… just Michael and I again.  And of course he is gone to work now so I am here alone; the only sound is the hum of the A/C and an occasional horn honking.  I could turn on the TV to one of the 10 English language stations running programs we saw at least 3 seasons ago in the US… but hey, it is better than nothing.

I actually need to get up and finish the cleaning I started yesterday.   So I decided to contemplate life here at my trusty computer and write for a little while.  I think they call this procrastination?  And I am learning to do it so well.  But really, I have 18 ladies going to be in my house tomorrow for Bible Study… the least I could do is clean the bathroom.  I’m sure they would appreciate that!!

I am seriously thinking I should have a housekeeper come in at least once a week to do the heavy cleaning.  We live on the first floor, what a huge mistake that was.  All the dirt and grime from the streets drifts in through the pores of this apartment and a nice black settles on everything.  Daily cleaning is really what is required to keep it at bay, but I am thinking that is way too much work for me.  Or better phrased, that is way more work than I want to do.  It would cut into my ‘me’ time.  You know, the spa visits, bible study and the ministries I am getting involved with here.  So we will see about that I-E (Chinese for housekeeper). 

Speaking of ministries… two that have spoken to my heart, Eden House and Healing Home.  Eden House is a ministry to get the young Chinese girls off the streets and out of the red light districts.  These are mostly young girls coming in from other provinces, poor and needing money to send home to their families.  Many are from the Sichuan province that was hit hard by earthquakes.  So much poverty there and the old refuse to leave, so they send their daughters here to ‘make a living’ however they can. Or they are sold by their parents as virgins… which is a huge business here.  It is sad and tragic, but Eden House is building relationships and helping.  They make progress, one girl at a time. 

Healing Home is a ministry that addresses the needs of babies with Clef Palate.  These are orphaned and abandoned babies that need surgery and lots of love.  They need a place to recover until adoptive parents can pick them up.  But mostly they need someone to hold them and love them.  They just need someone to give them a chance at a normal life.  One thing I have to give is ample arms to hold them and a big heart to share the hugs and kisses. 

The one thing that we all agree on here in China, it is a hard place to live and we seek God’s support and love to get us through the tough days.  Every woman I talk to says the same thing… since moving to China they are more focus and centered in the Lord and closer than ever.  I have experienced that in my own life as well. 

Before I go any farther I want to tell you… were it not for my daughter, Marcy, none of these posts would be possible.  Although I have managed to find a back door to Facebook, the government blocks blogs too.  I wanted to keep this journal of my experiences while here in Shanghai, but that meant that someone else would have to post my blogs.  She stepped up and is making that happen.  I sent her 12 blog entries for the time they were here in Shanghai with hundreds of pictures.  She got them all over a couple of days and she has posted them all with the same duration… thanks honey for posting these for me!!!  I know it is a lot of work with the pictures.

And I need to thank Jennifer… she gets our mail and pays our bills and does our banking and feeds our animals… AND she is letting Maggie live with her.  She has a house full of kids and still takes care of our stuff too…  Thank you for holding down the fort!

They are taking care of everything on ranch so that we can be here in China.  I am so blessed to have my daughters!!

Onward with the day… I have decided that I can finish the cleaning and go to the spa… So I am calling for an appointment!

The bathrooms can be done later today… besides …It is only 10:30am… who in their right mind cleans before noon anyway!! I must add that to my words to live by… Never clean before noon! (Not really but it sounded good)  I used to be such a clean freak, but with age has come much wisdom in this regard.

There are a lot of things that change with age, but that could be a long post all by itself… so until then… have a blessed day and make it count!

China: The Departure for Home

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Today was a hard day for me.  I knew the family would be leaving about 6:30pm for their 9:45pm flight from Shanghai to LAX.  They would spend the night in LA and then head out for Dallas on Friday. 

This morning at 11am, Michael, Kenneth, Chris, and Jennifer would all be enjoying a nice foot massage at the Dragon Fly Spa.  When we had left there on Tuesday, I had made appointments for them.  It seemed unfair for Marcy and I to have enjoyed 2 foot massages during their visit and Jennifer had gone to the Aquarium on that day… and the guys had not had one at all!!  Michael had made lots of noise about getting one, but every time I suggested I make him an appointment, he was too busy.  Well there would be no out this time… they are going and that was that!  And afterwards they should go to Element Fresh for a nice lunch… and while they were so close to the Carrefour… I needed a couple of things for the baked ziti we would be having for dinner.

Marcy and I would hold down the fort here at the apartment while the spa team relaxed.  The kids were actually very good most of the day.  We ordered pizza for them for lunch and they could not have been happier.  Thank goodness for DVD’s and wii games.  The weather was miserable so no going out for them.

Marcy was wanting to go back to the market and so were the guys.  Each had their eye on something they thought had their name on it.  But when Michael and Jennifer came back in without the guys, Marcy was surprised.  She had been waiting for them before going back to the market, but they had gone already.  So she, Bailey and Kendall lit out to find them.  But evidently they never found each other, but no matter, they all managed to find and purchased those last minute things they wanted.

Everyone was rushing around trying to finish the last minute packing.  Stripping the beds and collecting the dirty towels to bring up for the wash.  There was a kind of silence going on.  I had been blinking back the tears most of the afternoon.  Every time I allowed myself to think about their leaving I would puddle up. 

Marcy came into the kitchen and said… “I guess our leaving is kinda bitter sweet”.  It was all I could do to hold back the flood gates.  With all the noise and chaos for the past 11 days… the non-stop cooking and washing… I still did not want them to be leaving. There are no more pictures of our adventures together in China to share.

We managed to get through dinner and the girls cleaned up the kitchen.  But everyone was watching the clock and knowing that the bus would be here too soon.  We would not be going all the way to the airport.  There was not enough room in the bus for luggage, all of them and us too.  We would be saying our goodbyes on the steps of the building here.

In a few short hours there would be a quiet that would be difficult to bear.  The time had passed far too quickly.  Silently I wanted to be on that airplane going home too.  I think Michael was feeling the same too.  This goodbye was as hard to endure as when we left in February. 

The tears flowed freely as each of the grandkids got their hugs and kisses.  Both daughters are tearing just watching the kiddos…knowing it would be their turn soon.  So with all the hugs and kisses done and everyone loaded safely on the bus… they pulled away and out of sight. 

Oh my… I do not have the words to express what we are feeling… the missing them and knowing this visit will have to last us until January when we go home for Jason’s wedding.  I just pray that God will protect them as they make their journey home.

China: Day 10 – Rain and the Market

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The rain has been unmerciful.  It is pouring again today.  The plan had been to go to Qibao, the ancient town in Hongkou district, but it would be walking in the rain the entire day or most of the day.  It just would not be a fun day for anyone, so we opted to stay in and do more laundry.  We would just go to the underground market at the metro.  They had really gotten a kick out of the Yuyuan market, so this should be fun for them as well.  There were a few more things they wanted to buy to take back home and the girls were really after a designer fake purse!!!

So for a vast majority of the day, we just rested up and kept the washer going.  It was crazy the number of towels and they needed some clothes washed.  With the rain and humidity, the clothes hanging on the line were not getting dry.  And as we all remember (or not) I only have one plug outside so I can wash… or I can dry… just not at the same time.  It was today I had wished I had an I-E.  I know that is not the correct spelling but it is what they are called… an I-E or housekeeper.  They could have kept the house in order when we have been gone and the laundry.  I would not be sticking to the floor right now… but alas… the only housekeeper here is me!  Oh well… it is what it is!

Anyway… we all got ready and headed to the ‘the market’!  We looked like a tour meandering through the halls gazing into each shop and stopping when something caught an eye.  The shops carry very similar merchandise… such as if they carry purses and luggage, they all carry overlapping items.  So bargaining can be pretty easy because there is another on the next hall or even right down from this shop.

The kids loved my bargaining abilities.  It is just that I have had a bit more practice.  But I love that they think that!  Marcy and Bailey caught on really quickly and got hard-nosed about it fast.  You just have to stick to your convictions… set a price and do not move.  They will eventually relent or you move on.  Never fall in love with anything… you must to be able to walk away.

Jennifer was the first to find the purse she wanted… it was a ‘Jimmy Choo’!  They had it priced at like 2800 RMB…. Outrageous!  So I said 200 RMB… and the bargaining games began!   Bailey had found a purse she liked too, so we had much better bargaining power now with 2 purses…. I decided 300 RMB each was all we should pay!  The woman would quote a price and I would say 300 RMB each (about 45 USD each).  This went on for about 15 minutes and she would look at Jennifer for help and Jennifer would just point at me… finally we won the day and for 600 RMB total… Jennifer and Bailey had their fabulous designer fakes!!!

That set the pace and off we went.  Everyone was getting into the bargaining mode.  Bailey would crack me up… “Do you want to sell it or what?”  She was into it.  After a while I needed to start some dinner and was tired, so Brooklyn and I headed home.  The rest of them knew the way home so I left them to enjoy the hunt and the bargaining.

Even though we did not make it to Qibao, they all still had a fun day… out of the rain!

Miscellaneous Photos:  We had shared all the photos that had been taken between Chris and I.  Kendall and Bailey had taken snaps with their cameras as well.  I had not really looked much at those until I began catching up on the blog.  It struck me as I began to look at what they had taken… there are a lot of photos just here around the apartment… catching us not paying attention or posing.  While Chris and I captured all the big times of the trip… they had quietly captured all the family time.  Here are a few of the moments they thought were important.

She loved that I had all their pictures here… moments in their lives and the ranch.  I look at these pictures all the time… it helps me to not be so homesick.

Through the eyes of the children… I miss them so much.  I was told on numerous occasions during this visit, I should come home…now!  I think about that all the time.  We have made a commitment here and will see it through, but the things this experience has taught me: never take anything for granted … not family or friends…not the little smiles in life… not to overlook the littlest of things.  We live such a blessed life and I thank God every day for those blessings.

China: Day 9 – Big Girl Spa Day and the Aquarium

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I had promised a day for Bailey and Kendall with me… today would be that day.  The other kids would be going to the Shanghai Aquarium to watch the sea creatures.  I made appointments for 4 foot massages… Marcy was joining us.

The weather had been anything but cooperative.  It was raining off and on again this morning and was showing no sign of stopping.  So going to the confines of the spa or aquarium in the dry seemed like a pretty good idea.

With everyone else out the door for the subway and the Aquarium, I took a moment to catch my breath, before hustling to get ready for us to leave too.  I would be taking the girls to the super market with me as well.

They look so grown up… I cannot believe how quickly it is happening.

We had an hour long foot massage, which I was not sure how well they would like it.  Until now they had only had pedicures.  But when it was over and we emerged from the darkness and the bubbling sounds of water, they were gushing about the experience.

We walked across the street to the Element Fresh for a late lunch.  Bailey kept saying she felt like an executive with a corporation and should be sipping a latte or something.  I was not feeling that in the Element Fresh, but I would roll with it if that was her impression.  We had a wonderful lunch together.

For the entire walk to the Carrefour all they talked about is how they loved the foot massage and what it felt like.  I am so pleased they enjoyed it. 

The rain continued intermittently all the afternoon. At one corner where we needed to cross the street, it was quite a puddle… so much so that a passing car managed to get us even wetter than we already were!!!  But with all the giggling and such, we just laughed a little more and went on with it.

In the meantime, the rest of the family was enjoying the Aquarium.  I have included snaps from the day that Chris had taken.  The first three were taken outside our apartment.  I have included them simply because I think they were great pictures.

They came back from the Aquarium talking about all the things they had seen.  They were particularly fascinated with the tunnel through the tank and the sharks swimming right above their heads.  It was quite an experience for them as well.

Everyone had a wonderful day although we did very different things.  It has been a great day… there is only 2 days left.  Where is the time going… it is passing much too fast!!!

China: Day 8 – Jewish Refugee Museum and YuYuan Market

Monday, June 13, 2011

We have a list of things to do and only 3 days to do them in.  So we had decided to go to the Jewish Settlement area.  Bailey had been learning about WWII and what happened to the Jews, so she was curious about this area.   I had also been curious so this seemed like a good time to check it out.  If time permitted we would go to YuYuan Market.

Don’t they look just darling!!!  Don’t be fooled… there is mischief lurking behind those angelic faces!!!

And we are off… the kids are getting to be pros with the metro. But today, Michael was not able to board and was left behind.  So we all got off at the next station and waited for Michael.  If somebody had to be in that situation, I was glad it was him and not one of the kids… it could have caused a bit panic. 

We had printed out all the maps and directions, but when we got to the street we were still not 100% sure which direction to go.  So we walked a bit until we got our bearing.  There were several people on the street that wanted to help, but they sent us down a direction that I knew was not right.  But we finally got our bearings and set off.

We passed a historical building that was currently a police station.  The original use… a prision.  Pretty interesting architecture.

The map said go 500 meters… it sure seemed like a good ways to the museum, but at least this is a part of Shanghai that we had never been to, so we were exploring.

The apartment buildings you see lurking in the background was part of the Jewish ghetto. 

The Shanghai ghetto, formally known as the Restricted Sector for Stateless Refugees (無国籍難民限定地区, mukokuseki nanmin gentei chiku^?), was an area of approximately one square mile in the Hongkou District of Japanese-occupied Shanghai, where about 20,000 Jewish refugees were relocated to by the Japanese-issued Proclamation Concerning Restriction of Residence and Business of Stateless Refugees after having fled from Nazi Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania, Poland, and Lithuania before and during World War II.

The refugees were settled in the poorest and most crowded area of the city. Local Jewish families and American Jewish charities aided them with shelter, food and clothing.   The Japanese authorities increasingly stepped up restrictions, but the ghetto was not walled and the local Chinese residents, whose living conditions were often as bad, did not leave.

As World War II intensified, the Nazis stepped up pressure on Japan to hand over the Shanghai Jews.  Warren Kozak describes the episode when the Japanese military governor of the city sent for the Jewish community leaders. The delegation included Amshinover rabbi Shimon Sholom Kalish.   The Japanese governor was curious: "Why do the Germans hate you so much?"

"Without hesitation and knowing the fate of his community hung on his answer, Reb Kalish told the translator (in Yiddish): "Zugim weil mir senen orientalim — Tell him [the Germans hate us] because we are Orientals." The governor, whose face had been stern throughout the confrontation, broke into a slight smile. In spite of the military alliance, he did not accede to the German demand and the Shanghai Jews were never handed over.”

"Residences, Businesses of City's Stateless Refugees Limited to Restricted Sector". (Shanghai Herald newspaper, February 18 1943)

According to another rabbi who was present there, Reb Kalish' answer was "They hate us because we are short and dark-haired." Orientalism was not likely to have been said because the word is an Israeli academic term in modern Hebrew, not a word in classical Yiddish or Hebrew.

On November 15, 1942, the idea of a restricted ghetto was approved. On February 18, 1943, the Japanese authorities declared a "Designated Area for Stateless Refugees", ordering those who arrived after 1937 to move their residences and businesses into the one-square-mile area within three months, by May 15. The stateless refugees needed permission from the Japanese to dispose of their property; others needed permission to move into the ghetto. While the ghetto had no barbed wire or walls, a curfew was enforced, the area was patrolled, food was rationed, and everyone needed passes to enter or leave the ghetto.

According to Dr. David Kranzler,

As we walked through the area, I could not believe that so many people were crammed into such a small area.  But I guess when faced with a choice between certain death in Nazi Germany and living in crowded conditions with no bathrooms and sharing a small space with other families… I would make the same decision.

After a sobering look into the past, we moved on to the YuYuan Gardens and Market area of the Old Towne district of Shanghai.

Another subway ride down for the troops!!!

Made into a rounded walled city in 1553 to fend off Japanese pirates, the Old Town of Shanghai displays the richness of Ming and Qing architecture and the vibrancy of traditional Shanghai street life. Some call this Shanghai's "Chinatown" because of the traditional atmosphere, though the bright visages of Colonel Sanders and neon lights lining the narrow alleys add a modern touch. Considered unhealthily overcrowded, dirty and smelly by foreigners during the concession era, this was the one place that the Chinese could call their own in Shanghai.

Today the Old City is one of the few historic tourist highlights in a city that's all about modernity. One of the best ways to enter this area is from the northern gate from Renmin Road and Lishui Road. Walk south on Lishui past the new park underneath a massive gate straddling the road.

Some streets in the Old City are more understated than others, explore the sidewalk shops and lanes – quiet shopping opportunities abound. Small niches filled with clay kettles, glazed teacups and all sorts of trinkets line the walls in small stores, and antiques and antique replicas lure collectors and those stumped for souvenirs. Posters of 1930's era beauties to simple peasant art vie for your attention and cash. Parts of this area remain residential, it's easy to get lost in the maze of long tangs while walking past residents washing vegetables at outdoor sinks, toddlers playing hide and seek, and old men hunch over a game of Chinese chess.

To enter the main nerve of Old Town and visit the Ming era Yu Garden - also called "Yuyuan Garden", look for one of the many small entrances that lead into the central garden area. The dark narrow lanes are towered over with a mish-mash of Chinese architecture and modern styling. Commercialism is the word of the day; it's a modern version of an old bustling market –with the added kick the Shanghainese throw into making money. Different snacks and trinkets are available. Tasty goodies include sweet sticky rice candies, grilled sausages and assorted fried kebabs (check out the fried swallows). Shanghai is known for its steamed meat dumplings and the most famous in Shanghai are found in the Yu Garden shopping complex. Just off the central pond, this vendor is hard to miss, just look for the long line of salivating people. The dumplings are made on the spot and steamed to juicy perfection in a few minutes.

Like a green aquatic gem ensconced in a shell, the lake in the center of the market complex features a nine-bend bridge where locals and tourists alike all compete for the best photo opportunity. Fat fish swim lazily underneath the bridge, but come alive into a feeding frenzy whenever people throw in some food.

Across the bridge is the famed Huxinting Teahouse. This massive structure dominates the Yu Garden skyline, with massive upturned eaves; this building was originally built in 1784 and became a teahouse just before the turn of the 19th century. The restaurant inside the five sided structure is as famous as the dignitaries that have poked their chopsticks into the restaurant's rice bowls. Pictures of Jiang Zemin, Queen Elizabeth II and the Clintons mingling with the staff hang on the walls.

We would be taking a bit of a detour to the Fashion Mall for lunch at the Asijen Noodle Restaurant.  I am hoping that my fav is still on the menu here.  If not… oh well, I will find something else.  We are definitely getting our exercise this week. (Note to self:  do not try to take a short cut… it never works out!)

The Plaza outside the mall has great fountains.  They just happened to be going when we finished lunch.  Perfect back drop for a family photo opt.

The kids were totally taken with the fish. 

Their eyes are glued on a remote control helicopter…” I want it MawMaw!!”  They wanted it bad too!!!

The girls were really into the bargaining.  They became pretty good at it.  But they loved the market and bought a few things to take home!

Moving ever closer to the subway and the ride home.  Austin is ‘going down fast’ and everyone else is pooped out too.  It has been a busy day and lots of walking… yet again. (I did warn them about the walking)  It looks like a Papa Johns’s night for sure!