I must be having a Shang-Low day today. I feel an overwhelming sadness that I cannot shake. It has engulfed me since I woke this morning. I have lots of things to do today away from our apartment and do not want to stay in and be sad. I need to shake this off and get on with the beautiful day God has given us.
Wade called on the Skype… he wanted to talk to us and tell us about the bad weather that was coming and show us the snake skin he found. Jennifer was gone to our house to take my car home to put it in the garage… there is a possibility of hail. She has been driving my Edge while her van is in the shop.
She is home now and we are chatting about normal things… in the course of the conversation she mentioned Easter. The kids had wanted to know what they would be doing since they always have had Easter with us. We do church… I cook a feast for Easter dinner… and then the big egg hunt in the back yard.
I have been avoiding thinking about the upcoming holiday I would be missing… it is just too much to think about. And the tears begin to flow down my cheeks as I think about not being home with our family during this very special holiday.
I have been gone from home long enough now that the home sickness is really hitting me today. I long for the familiar. I long to wrap my arms around my babies and hug them so tightly that I know they would be trying to wiggle away, but I just can’t let go. I long for Maggie and the comfortable affection that a pet brings. I long for the smell of the fresh cut grass and cleaning out my weedy flower beds. I long to plant the first flowers that is my spring ritual. I even miss those silly cats. I miss my own bed… today I miss just about everything there is about home!
I close my eyes and can almost feel the warm Texas breeze on my skin. I love the spring time in Texas. Everything is getting green and waking form the long winters sleep. The fruit trees are budding and the birds are chirping; it is a time of newness. Although the spring is also a time of enormous work, it is a very satisfying work. To be one with nature and dig in the dirt… I just love it! And now miss it desperately! I will cherish it more than ever when I am back on the ranch again.
This morning I have watched a Prestonwood sermon and done a bible study… reaching out to the Lord to help me get through the day. I am looking to all the scriptures that will help me understand and find comfort.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
It is time to get up and dust off this pity party… get a shower and get out of the apartment. There is a Christian speaker doing a service at the community center at noon… I am going to be there! I have been planning to go for a week. Getting out just might be the ticket I need to make it through today. Maybe after the service… I will go to the Dragon Fly for a foot massage or a pedicure. I also need to go to the market place and find a few things for our trip to Malaysia the end of the week. Just need to keep busy!
And I know that this too shall pass… what is it Scarlett says? ‘Tomorrow is another day!’
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